A Mother's Utopia

This is how I feel right now...  like there is a gigantic cloud looming over me and it keeps dumping out bucket loads of water over me!  Yesterday was the day from you know where!   I went to the dentist and find out that I have to have a root canal and a crown which I don't have the money for, and I tell them this.  They tell me to apply for credit care and I will be able to make monthly payments until it is paid off.  OK, sounds like a good idea, until I go home apply and get DENIED!  Now what am I supposed to do with my broken tooth that costs $800.00 to fix... I get a phone call from the processors office that I am going to be served and sued due to non payment of a creditor from 2006 and they wanted to know if I could give them a fair counter offer and settle the dispute.  Hello there people, I dump change to make my rent payments and I can't even fix a broken tooth!  He informed me that they can garnish my wages, put liens...

Not sure how time has slipped through my fingers like it has over the past few months, it has been a crazy whirlwind of a life.  I have been so busy with work, the kids and my head.  It's like I have so much swimming in my head and I am not sure how to process it all or how to deal with the emotions that I have felt.  I am completely off of my Bipolar meds and only on my hormone replacement therapy which seems to be going well.  With being off the Bipolar meds I am experiencing feelings and moods that I am not used to and I have to learn how to handle and control them...  I am so used to being "borderline" and "blah" that these ups and downs are a shock to my system.  Now they are not the Bipolar Manic and Mania ups and downs, they are the ups and downs of life and the things going on around me, processing things and seeing how I really feel and what my opinions are.  It saddens me that I don't have anyone to share these with, but it is the first ...