A Mother's Utopia

I have so much on my mind and I don’t really know how to sort it all out. It weighs heavy on me and consumes my every thought. How do we as women get stretched so thin and never break? I know it is the power of GOD that holds me together, and for that I am so thankful.

I am just not in a good place today. I am sad and depressed. Sometimes “LOVE” just isn’t enough. I need security and know things are going to be taken care of. I am 32 years old and I have four children who I am supposed to nurture and be a role model and show them how things should be done and how not to let people walk all over you and how to be a Christian and a good person and be strong and respectful and bla bla bla. I have a husband who is depressed and lacks motivation to work and support our family. The aspect of doing things with the kids has gotten so much better than it used to be and I know he loves me, but I am still waiting for my knight in shining armor to ride up on his white horse and lead this family to a victorious life. I know that is a silly kid’s fairy tale and all but I would love something that resembles that. My therapist says not to dwell on his flaws, him not having the motivation to work, pay the bills or do anything around the house and the severe depressio...

I honestly wish I could just delete my ex husband. Like when an email pops up from him - DELETE, when he calls my cell phone - DELETE, when he texts me - DELETE, when the kids walk up and say "Dad really needs to talk to you", and it is somehting so insanely dumb - DELETE! God places people in your life and you question why. I am learning not to question him but go with the flow. I do have two beautiful children because of the relationship and when you put those two with my other two children, well life just overflows with the answer to my questions. I LOVE MY BABIES!!!