A Mother's Utopia

I haven't been posting much because 1. I don't have internet at home and 2. I have been so swamped at work that I haven't been taking my 15 minute breaks.  Life has been very difficult over the past 2 weeks with living in a new place and trying to get situated and the emotional roller coaster I am on with my husband.  I found out last week that he is seriously considering "renting out" half of the house to a co-worker and her son.  Yup! You know damn well that a guy doesn't just decide to "rent out" half the house to a "co-worker".  He is so self absorbed right now that he isn't even thinking about how that is going to make his children feel.  Can you imagine going to stay with your Dad for the weekend and the house you lived in is completely redone and redecorated and has some strange woman and her kid in it!  I feel so bad for my children.  Once I processed what he is doing it hit me that he has probably built up a relationsh...

Where are the days going?  I cannot get over how fast things are happening and how time is flying by. Before I know it summer will be here and the kids will be out of school and I will be stuck working 10 hour days. The move went great.  I drove the U-Haul and did great at it!!! My sister came over from Naples to help out, and she was a huge help in many different ways.  I also had 3 people from work load the truck and then another friend from work came with his twin boys to help unload.  They stayed and put the bunk beds together and put together my new cabinet to store my pantry items.  My girlfriend ran to the store and got them drinks, chips and ice while my sister bought pizza.  I even had a surprise visit from Pat (my other mother) while we were unloading.  It really was a great day and I was to busy to let my emotions get the best of me!  I have a few boxes left to unpack and things to hang on the wall, but it is coming together...

Inner Strength - your survival instinct...  I am so Thankful that I have inner strength, the drive and determination that comes out at that last possible second when you think you have nothing left in you. I am a pretty stubborn person and I won't "allow" things to come crashing down and take away my spirit, I just keep trucking on and on and on like the energizer bunny. Something gets in my way and I either plow right through it like a linebacker or I stuff it down inside and try to deal with it later.  I have to say with my current situation I have taken the bull by the horns and just done what needs to be done as far as getting a place of my own and taking on the bills etc, but the emotional side of it I have stuffed deep down inside of me and it keeps trying to rear it's ugly head the past couple of days.  I am sad about the separation and about how things have turned out, it breaks my heart.  But you go on, I have learned to let go of things.  I am in cont...

This is currently my life...  surrounded by boxes trying to pack everything we need and use and getting rid of the things we don't or can't take because they won't fit.  It will be good to get into a smaller place that is more manageable.  I plan on starting right in with the kids and their chores and establishing rules for keeping things clean and up off the floor.  So I haven't disappeared off the planet, just behind thousands of boxes.

I have my journal and I have my blog and my mind is so bad that I don't know what I write where.  I know I went through the thoughts and put them down someplace but was it in my blog or did I journal it?  And sometimes I think of something so great and by the time I get to my blog or journal, I have forgotten what it is that had me so inspired or what I worked through...  Life is one big ball of peaceful chaos for me lately.  I am at peace but my life is chaotic and crazy, does that even make sense?  I had a garage sale this weekend and did pretty good, I have my first months rent ready, now I just have to come up with the security deposit and last months rent.  After the garage sale I threw everything back in my garage and am going to do it all over again in 2 weeks.  (I really just want House of Hope, Faith Farm or Goodwill to back a truck up to my garage and take it all!) I can't believe in a few weeks I will be moving from a four b...