Underwater and sinking fast...

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Underwater and sinking fast is how I feel today...  I can see the light, I kick and kick and can't seem to get up there to get my head above water.  Today I am drowning in frustration and agitation with my situation.  My home life is being lived in limbo not knowing if or when my husband is going to come back.  And really if he comes back, what is supposed to change?  I know he thinks I have things I need to change, but is he working on himself while he is away?  I honestly don't know...  Life at home is as peaceful as it can be with four children, there is no confrontation or stressful situations.  My mood is not dependant on what frame of mind my husband is in, instead my mood is reflecting how I truly feel and right now my mood sucks!  I try to have faith that things will work out, but what it they are not supposed to work out?  What happens then?  I know deep down I will be just fine with or with out him, but I hate the not knowing and floating in limbo pretending things are ok when I don't know if they really are.  I guess I need to sit down with myself and find out what I really want deep down and tell him what I would expect, no, what I do expect if he were to come back home and leave it with him to determine what he is going to do.  I need to go on with my life, to keep making progress and move forward.  Time to find and pull the inflation cord on my life vest to get my rear back up to shore.
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Comments

Hair Bows & Guitar Picks said…
Just know that I am thinking about you all the time! Please call me if you need anything or just to have a glass of wine and talk...Love ya.
February 14, 2012
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